Monday, July 24, 2006 @ 11:44 AM
Burden..
I feel Heavy Hearted.. Very heavy Hearted... Sinking deep deep deep deep into a hole that will so00n disolved..i dun wan to Change.. but it just happens that ive change alot.. into a person i nv knoe im capable of becoming.. A Failure in life... My attitude Just made mii soon wan to become a very very impatient ppl.. all this is going to happen.. it may happen anytime.. BUT i dun wan... i dunno i just dun wan.. GOD is with miie.. He knoes my problems.. He listens.. He answer.. i wait.. patiently.. patiently.. even now.. i counting every sec of failure i will haf in my exams.. which i dun wan this things to happen... I dunno.. my mind is wandering.. i dunno.. im in a mess now GOD can help mii.. but i need to help myself first.. i dunno... i dunno i cant even handle myself.. i pray i pray everything will be just fine... really fine.. all i can do is to continue to wait and tire myself up into a person that will haf no stregth anymore.. BUT i hope i wont.. I Knoe GOD is there.. and i dun wish to talk about life anymore... IT's a tiring thing...Im afraid.. im sacred.. coz many things haf change even u haf realised.. GOD is very Near.. HIS comin' real so0n.. and i hope He really does..
I feel beri burden in heart.. why do i start wif this sentence..everythin' in my life seems upside down now.. really! i dun knoe wad im trying to do each dae.. sometimes i just live as if nh happens.. sometimes i live my life trying to avoid challenges is to come.. sometimes i live my life bein' so afraid of everythin' so0 troubled.. as in everythin' is im to blamed.. but however i really thank GOD that my faith have not waver and not made miie fall into the devils hand..but i blame myself for bein' so0 useless at lots of times.. thinking not of the messed i've brought myslef into it. It's just so0 sad i cried out to Lord.. I knoe He hears.. i knoe. Many things haf change now.. from young to bein a teenager.. ppl are now not what they use to be.. after chatting wif Lydia and jaime about the past and present its seems lyk everything has change.. and its so0 scary that our world is advancing so0 quickly that we didn't even realised half a century haf gone kind of thing... Im so0 tired.. i dunno why.. maybe my friend was tired.. but im even tired then all of them do.. i dunno but this is what i haf in mind.. i wish to sae.. Problems may come our way not expecting a solutions to be resolved immediatey .. u dun avoid neither do u escape or u hide or act as if nth happen.. FACE IT! why afraid.. I knoe when i was facing tons of problems i knoe that GOD is there.. no matter how hard the situation is there will be a way out becoz GOD promised us that if we call out to Him he will listen and wait patiently for an answer.. So0 i nv take God for granted i trust Him fully.i want to emphasize this things again.. in this post becoz im burden.. and it also serves a reminder to miie.. maybe it was hard.. but in every trials and testing.. it will mould u into someone who is managable in their own problems.. if even a small situation u can't handle.. i bet in life bigger testing u may turn away from the Lord..Haix problems.. problems.. many thinga haf already turn into an impossible things for miiee.. i faced life alone with GOD as my guidance.. Maybe i was really abit sad about how im leading my life now... i hope to be happie.. but it takes Alot of trial and testing to be happie in the end..
IM TIRED!!!
