Monday, August 24, 2009 @ 8:34 PM
Not being what it takes to be.
Not getting anything out of it.
Not reaching something out of it.
Not to prove nothing that it was meant to be.
Not to think of it when it is not it .
Coming to being what it takes to be
Coming to get everything out of it.
coming to reach something out of this.
coming to prove nothing that it was meant to be.
coming to think it is not that it is.
Complexity vs Simplicity.
All who are nothing, gain the most out of it.
Understanding takes years, application take mins.
It's knowing you and you first before you get to know others.
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Very Random I know.
Try read my mind to know what it means. :)
Purely what I'm thinking.
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Being very small in a very country.
Being very tiny in a very tiny planet in milky way.
If God was not bigger than all this, he could not have been called Above All.
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This 2 weeks I will be in KK so familiar coz our church went there one christmas a few years ago.
I remeber standing on that particualr spot giving out tracts :)
I will be going to Paeds and Woman and neonatal ward for my posting.
It's really pure.
What I meant was joy. How marvellous God has made us all differently.
The innocents that baby has, reminds me of what God wants us to be. Innocent as a child, imitating His footsteps.
Was also thinking what is peace? not world peace but heart peace. When you see a baby sleep, it was what that means.
Why did I lose so much of this when i grow up? A pity life cannot be rewind back.
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What I call simple and contented.
During, my life in IMH.. God was not out of the equation. He was in it even with people who were mentally unwell.
One could even remember that He attended church when he was very young and profess Jesus when asked what religion he was.
God did not and will not leave anyone who acknowledges Him.
I really enjoyed my time there and thank God for being able to bring joy to some whom I've spoke to. Although it was really harsh to leave them just when we got to know them better.
It was also the first time that I daringly, shared my life story from 0-19 yrs old with them all gentlemens with 3 other ladies in a therapieutic activity which not even most of my friends outside or in church knows about it. The encouragement that I've got touched my heart because it came from people whom i did not get to speak when i was there a week.
At that point, I really understood what means to share without obligations or worries. It was like talking to a group of people that you've know for a long time ago. And 4 racial group was present, marvellous! :) Well, i really pray and wishes well for each of them.
Song that we sang and I played with the guitar on the last day :)
You are our sunshine,
our only sunshine,
you made us happy
during our stay,
You never know Dear,
How much we love you,
So please don't take that smile of yours away.
I will never forget this precious memories that I've taken away for being there for just 2 weeks. and some staffs who inspired me :)
Guess nowadays, life is so ruthless and fast that no one have time for such face to face anymore, time has become a factor, studies and work have become the second, comfort is being measured to your earnings, never enough , never contented. And also yes, just like me, now typing on this computer [one way] which might make me an introvert whom might just be one of the many who bottle up many things that has not been release out to any.
How I wish, someday...
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Oh well, and yes my mood is definitely like such as a Mild Bipolar Disorder [Mood disorder]. Being quite bad at handling stress when too much things just come at one go, and having to try suppress some of them, my mind is really stagnant and blank. Unhealthy yes, you definitely hate it, that you would have some regrets to certain actions you have done or did to certain. In the midst of all this, thank God for His word daily that direct my thoughts back to Him. It's a learning processed. I really want what I call as My crisis to be an opportunity to serve God and see God at work.
Having to sing so0 many times May the Lord find us faithful also reminds me I am just a weak human who needs God to walk with me.
Never let my heart grow cold,
never let me go.
If you are seeing what the world is happening now, you and I got to realise we are not living in lala land anymore.
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I'm leaving my attachment into God's hand again, i will do my part to swallow snake guts no.. It's God's strength and go for the shot to get everything upside right. and leave it for God's will to be done. Oh well, i still have to face her for my next attachment. So well, shall try overcoming the barrier I have with her. Keep me in prayer and pray for spiritual and physical strength from God. Thank You. :)
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Yes I am, not going to be who I am. But to who I AM, I am who I am. :)